How To Be [A Decent] Human

I am an incredibly emotional person.

I consider myself a passionate person. I'm only 30 years old, so it's not like I'm speaking from the mighty throne of the privilege of age, but I do know for a fact that I care more about others and about the state of the world in general now than I did ten years ago. In fact, my emotions were what originally led me to start this blog, The Soul Of Being Human.

I am so very human. In my head every day love, kindness and compassion are at war with hate, anger and disgust. While this is probably just the result of the brain's never ending series of binary checks and balances, the little yes/no arguments it has with itself over the information it takes in, processes and stores, I can tell you this:

It is so exhausting.

I call it the emotional roller coaster. I'm sure many others do too. But it's not a fun roller coaster, because I actually love those. This roller coaster wears me out, and leaves me feeling tired and heart sick at the end of the day. The roller coaster makes me want to disengage, run away, hide, do everything I can to avoid another climb and trough, which I think is the average human thing to want.

Why am I on this roller coaster? Or, to put it in the words of some- why am I being such an oversensitive little bitch?

Because I'm tired of watching people being so ugly to each other.

That's it. It's not a Big Important Reason that comes attached to a 10 page essay and a power point presentation. Well, I suppose it's important to me, certainly, but not everyone has the same reasoning.

Just yesterday, in a chatroom for my favorite annual event (NaNoWriMo- check it out), I watched a young woman and aspiring writer/author get bullied, ostracized, and eventually driven off for discussing virtually the same topics that I had just been talking about the day before. The only difference being, I got sympathy and sweetness for my frustrations, and she didn't, because the other group members had decided that for "reasons", they didn't like her.

Hold up a minute and think about this. This is an event that is supposed to draw people together to help them work their way towards a mutual goal, to build up the confidence of writers everywhere, and generally provide moral and emotional support for professional and non-professional writers alike- and they drove this person away. This actually happened. In a chat room. I was there. I witnessed it.

And the worst part? The worst part is that I didn't stand up nearly as tall or speak as loudly in her defense as I should have. So, on top of feeling like a terrible person for not standing up and telling them all very clearly that they were out of line, I am now also angry and frustrated on behalf of that poor young woman, because that kind of behavior is just. not. on.

To the young woman who no longer feels comfortable being around the nano chat, please accept my apologies for not defending you strongly enough. I feel ashamed by my failing. I see you, my friend, and I love you with all my heart.

To the people who made her feel unwanted and sad, I see you too. I know who you are. I don't know why you said the things you did, or what reasoning you used to justify your casual callousness towards another vulnerable human being. My feelings towards you are much more mixed. I am angry with you. I am disappointed in you, and disappointed that you stooped to such lows. I am frustrated that even though we're all old enough to know better, bullying like this still occurs, as if the world is just one big school yard.

I was starting to see you as friends, who accepted me. Perhaps your behavior was partly my failing as well- by not being more vocal about it, I was in a sense enabling you to behave the way you did, instead of providing a peer guided check to the balance. I feel ashamed by my failing. I should have done more to correct your behavior, or at the very least, made you understand that what you were doing was w.r.o.n.g. and that I could see it and didn't like it.

I am not a perfect human being. I'm the first to admit that. I swear too much, I'm rude to people on the internet who piss me off, I find my mother in law maddeningly annoying, and I am often left thinking that humanity is destined to probably die from its own collective stupidity. Many people probably think I'm an annoying bitch too. But I do know one thing:

We can be better than that. We can ALL be better than that. We should expect EVERYONE to be better than that.

Why? Because I'm tired of watching people being so ugly to each other. Does there have to be another reason?

So I'm going to start, today, in changing the way I behave, and maybe in making an example of myself, I can help influence the behavior of others. While I can't do anything to right the wrongs others have already done (to me or anyone else), I can stand up and tell them that it is wrong.

DON'T be a bully. DON'T be cruel. DON'T be a dick. Before you say something hurtful or dismissive of someone who has done nothing more than ask for your kindness and sensitivity, think before you speak or type something that will damage them further.
 
It's that simple.

I entreat you, as one human being to another: Please stand with me, and help me show the world what we can do when we show compassion and kindness. 

We see you, fellow human beings. And we love you.